Another way that people tell their stories instead of showing them is through the use of filter words, especially in first person writing.
A filter word is a word such as heard, saw, felt, knew, thought, realized, etc. If you’re unsure why these are not wise to use in writing, consider the last time you had an argument with a friend.
You did that! vs. I know you did that!
The first is an accusatory statement of fact. “You. Did. That.” The second is a statement about what you know. “I know you did that.” It’s easy to argue with what your opponent knows. It’s harder to argue against what you, yourself, have been accused of doing.
Using filter words isn’t just weak writing. It’s also a method of separating the narrator from the point of view character. If you want your readers to feel that they are in the heads of the characters they’re reading about, you absolutely can’t use filter words unless the character is literally thinking those words.
Example time!
He sat on the park bench, which felt rough under his hands. He thought about his actions. He knew he shouldn’t have done it, but taking the milk money had been so easy. On the other hand, he knew he would get into big trouble if he didn’t return it. He came to a decision. He’d return the money tomorrow.
Here there is a narrator telling you what Chris (Stand By Me) would do. But consider the following:
He sat on the park bench and wrapped his hands around the edge beside his knees. A splinter dug into his palm. What he deserved, for what he’d done. He should never have taken the milk money. But it was so easy! Sitting there on the teacher’s desk, all shiny and silver.
The money dragged his left pocket down, making his pants hang lopsided off his hips. Did he really want to be like his brother Eyeball? No. Eyeball was a butthead. He didn’t want to think of himself as a butthead, too. He’d return the money tomorrow. Just slide it back on teacher’s desk like she must have overlooked it. That would be best.
He let go of the edge of the bench.
This is more shown. There is a filter word here: He didn’t want to think of himself as a butthead, too. This is the exception to the rule. Every so often, we do overtly think “I think,” or “I realize” or “I know” or “I feel.” When I got off the plane two days ago, my back hurt, and I thought, “I feel awful.” It’s legit. For example:
“I put my keys on this hook. I know I put my keys on this hook. I’m going to be late. To an interview. Again!”
People do think that. At least, I have thought that. “I know I put the doohickey here. I remember doing so.” This goes through peoples’ minds all the time. It’s completely legitimate, and not telling, to use “filter” words sparingly in internal monologue at the point where your character will literally be thinking those words. In fact, using filter words such as “I know” or “I remember” can be a great way of showing rising panic or consternation!